Positive reinforcement

I heard someone once say that it’s better to fall in love once and then have your heart broken. The second time you will value and treasure that love in a whole new way. I don’t think that is true for everyone. But I think for me it is.

I think I needed to fall in love, and I needed to be broken. There are lots of reasons why I needed this and I don’t know them all.

The next time I fall in love (if there is a next time) rather than not trust and take for granted. I want to treasure and be more aware of how fast things can change.

Positive reinforcement right?

Also. Praying together. More.

Eyebrows

This crazy lady. Just smiling. Like a fool.

I just need to rant about this.

Plucking eyebrows.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS!!?? ITS SO PAINFUL!!  HOLY COW! WHY DO I LIVE IN AMERICA!!??

First world problems right?

I plucked my eyebrows for the first time yesterday. Oh the things we do for vanity. Pulling out each little hair that doesn’t fit right above my eyes. Not like above and all around my eyes are a sensitive spot or anything like that. (she said with distain) For real. This is stupid. And yet there I sat for what felt like a half hour plucking my poor little eye brows.

But hey, on the upside I don’t have to do it again for like a month, and also my eyebrows look groomed…way to conform Grace, way to conform.

Its because we were homeschooled…

February Goals

First of all let it be said that contrary to my deep hatred for long winters and my dislike for the weather in February it is still my favorite month. Why? You may ask. Well first of all my birthday is on the 26th, second I LOVE valentines day, third I think February is a pretty name for a month, fourth I don’t like January so February saves me. Here are my goals for the month:

 Journal everyday all month: Silly as it may sound, I was inspired to journal after reading Dracula…

Work out four times a week at the gym: We have a gym, it takes two seconds to walk over there, there is no reason why I shouldn’t. I mean I already go maybe twice a week.

Read two books: Doesn’t matter which books I just need to be reading. I think I will start with “Deadline” by Randy Alcorn. But I reserve the right to read something else if I don’t like it.

Make a quilt: Of the Crazy Variety. This will also knock off a bucket list item (see how I multitask)

Make Valentines: Pretty ones. Like go buy things from the store in order to make really nice ones.

Along with these goals I want to keep up with the habits I formed  last month, so I will keep washing my face each night, and not eat late a night.

January-Over.

OK so last month I set some goals for January. And I am proud to say I kept my goal, except for one, which I simply modified. Here they are again.

 “1. Not eat past 8pm (unless at a party)” I kept this one more of less. However I got a job this month, so the night that I was working I would come home and have a late diner. But hey, for the most part I did keep to this one.

“2. Go on a detox for 15 days ish” Done. I feel great. Do it. I am now off of grains, sugar, and starch (potatoes, corn, yellow bannans) And I feel amazing…So healthy. So much more capable of thinking through things clearly and dealing with stress. I have a lot more energy, and over all really don’t feel sick anymore. Which is an amazing feeling.

“3. Be in the habit of washing my face every night”  Did it. Started using this face stuff at night and in the mornings. And I see enough of a difference to keep at it every day.

“4. Read Surprised by Joy by CS Lewis” Fail-but I did start reading “Let me be a Woman” by Elizabeth Elliot. Which I love. I still want to read Surprised by Joy. But Let me be a Woman just…I don’t know, jumped out at me, and felt like the right book to be reading. Its also short chapters so I can just read a few when I have time, or before bed.

“5. Draw/paint five different clown fish”   Yes. Did it. And then some. Enjoyed it. But I am so over fish…And I don’t really think I got very good at painting them. But the point wasn’t to produce some great art, but just to say, hey, I know how to draw a clownfish…Here are a few…crappy quality photos.

Marker Clown fish.

Oil Pastel clown fish…

Water color and glitter lady clown fish.

Colored pencil clown fish.

Water color

Watercolor

Dracula, done.

Well I finished Dracula today. Well worth the 18 hours of listening. I painted a lot while listening to Dracula. Listening to Dracula inspired no dark paintings what so ever. And I am going to post some of what I did while listening to Dracula, minus the clown fish and a few that I just don’t feel like sharing. 

I am so looking forward to starting Villette by Charlotte Bronte…its 23 hours long…oofta. I hope the its good.

#sillylittlethingsthatwontbeabigdealinaboutamonthbutrightnowreallyareyayparty

So looking at two options. I can look at those two options and think though all the pros and cons. I can usually tell which is the smart thing and which is the right thing and which is good for others and which is the selfish thing and which is going to be good for my heart and which is going to be bad for my heart and which is going to kill me and which is going to carry on and on for the next forever.

This is a new thing-mostly because I am paranoid that I am going to mess up my life by making one tiny stupid choice. Or ruin my friendships. Or disappoint my family. Life right now feels very fragile and I want to study each move before I take it. So basically I know what I should choose but I feel pressure and its not a big deal its just yet again I am finding a week spot in my life and that is that I can’t make my mind up. I need someone to just tell me what to do or I need to be fed up and be rash about it.

I woke up this morning looking forward to something that I am now rethinking. It all seemed so clear. And then it wasn’t. And then it was clear again but in a diffrent way. And then it wasn’t. And now I just want to know what the best choice is. And I don’t know. So I am stuck.

Yah, thats my story.

Oh if I could dance

I have always dreamed of being a dancer. But I know I never really will be. This doesn’t stop me from dancing on my own. But oh how I wish I could express myself though this art form. Its so beautiful.

This is a very interesting dance that I may have posted before. But I just can’t get over it.

Ink

Strong

There are no people in this world who are truly strong. There are those who may seem to be able carry more, thats only because really they carry nothing. Rather they give over their burdens to the one who is strong. They give it all to the savior.