This is all I had. This is everything. This is the main house. The living room of the main house. I stayed in a caravan outside with Marie and Loren. I bought this hat with Taka in the city of Galway when we went on our adventure there, he bought me some fresh warm doughnuts. I wore the scarf when we biked in the woods and got caught in the rain by the river. I wore a hole in the Toms. The scarf saved my neck from midges. The back pack carried about 8 outfits I never wore-I only wore two. It also holds the letters I carried with me across ireland. The grass crown I left behind by mistake-I made it in a daisy field while I talked with Taka. The skirt got covered in mud on the first day and I hung it by the fire to dry-it never did I never wore it again till this last day. My hands were worn and had mud in them that took a month to come out.
Growing up is easy if you stop remembering that you are growing up. After all and Jack says “There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
So I will grow up. But stay young forever. Because this whole life is just infancy really.
We went to the burrons. We had cheese and bread and some meat from Spain. Marta is from Spain. Lua found a pen and Loren found a rare flower only found in that part of Ireland. I laid on a rock and just felt the wind and the rock and listened to the sounds all around watching the flowers and grass between the rocks move. Marie took photos. We got cold from the wind and Marie almost missed her bus because Loren and I had seconds.
Waking up early to a room cold as the grave can be a comforting thing. I wake up feeling something and today I know I am still alive.
Walking into my clean room and putting my clean clothes in all the right drawers and placing my books on the dresser just so me feel like I am keeping up with a piece of art.
The feeling that fall is around the corner somehow puts me at peace. Even though fall brings winter and winter brings an upturn of life. But not yet.
It is alright for me to hang on to what I have right now and push away anything that could stain this season of life that I want to stay so perfect in my heart? I think maybe it could be-but somehow I don’t feel it is.
Why does opera make me want to cry today?
I am just a wee person. But I like feeling that my feet are cold in the morning.
There is a dull feeling that slowly creeps into your soul when your home slowly becomes nothing more than a house on the market.