So looking at two options. I can look at those two options and think though all the pros and cons. I can usually tell which is the smart thing and which is the right thing and which is good for others and which is the selfish thing and which is going to be good for my heart and which is going to be bad for my heart and which is going to kill me and which is going to carry on and on for the next forever.

This is a new thing-mostly because I am paranoid that I am going to mess up my life by making one tiny stupid choice. Or ruin my friendships. Or disappoint my family. Life right now feels very fragile and I want to study each move before I take it. So basically I know what I should choose but I feel pressure and its not a big deal its just yet again I am finding a week spot in my life and that is that I can’t make my mind up. I need someone to just tell me what to do or I need to be fed up and be rash about it.

I woke up this morning looking forward to something that I am now rethinking. It all seemed so clear. And then it wasn’t. And then it was clear again but in a diffrent way. And then it wasn’t. And now I just want to know what the best choice is. And I don’t know. So I am stuck.

Yah, thats my story.