I was on a walk with my dear friend Moriah and for part of the time my dear friend Hannah. We were dreaming up a storm and talking our tongues dry. We laughed at red lights like crazy people until people were thoroughly amused. We got lost and found the place that I have only ever found by getting lost first. We picked lilacs and apple blossoms. We danced in the parking lot to Benny Goodman and we gave our feet a nice long mud bath. We climbed a tree and watched the sun fall into a sunrise on the other side of the world. We didn’t do the homework we had planned to do together. We just got distracted by the beauty on the way home from rehearsal. When we got home Moriah asked me a question. You see I am going to Ireland in a few weeks (dies with excitement) and so we were talking about this trip.
Moriah looked at me as we sat on my day bed listening to a CD that sounds like waves and birds and flutes and she asked me “What if you get sick on your trip? Like the whole time? what you have something terrible like pneumonia for the whole trip?” I replied “that would really stink” She grabbed my hand and said “No. No, if that happened that would be the best thing that could happen. You just wouldn’t know why”
This hit me. Every time something goes wrong in my life I will shrug it and say “God is sovereign.” But not only is God sovereign- he is good. Every little mishap that happens. Every tragic event. Its all the best. The absolute best.
Soon I will post and post about how much Cb productions has ment to me.
Today I am just going to cry and cry and cry and cry and cry.
I am sure I will be posting something really long and sappy tomorrow, but I am going to try and keep it together for a little while longer…
But oh, I don’t want this chapter of my life to end. Turning the page after all of that is going to suck.
Also, funny story, I cried yesterday and there were sparkles in my tears…how epic is that? Pretty darn. If you are going to loose it you might as well do it in style.
What did I find?
“Can’t really be you ’til you’re everyone else”
What is this story about? What’s your part in the story? Are you that guy who makes the main character realize that he is in love with the girl? Or are you the girl who falls in love with the main character? Are you the comic relief? Are you the one who makes the main character look good? Or are you the main character yourself. Is the story centered around you? Are the readers laughing at each of your mishaps, crying though each heartbreaking chapter, and sighing when you finally find that someone special? Or are you simply the sad victim of the story? You are trying to find out where you fit in the story- trying to find out what the story is even about. Lost. Is the story even about you? Are you even part of it? If the story was a movie you would be the guy eating a hotdog in the background right?
Humans search their whole lives to find out what the story is about. Most believe its about something greater than themselves. Maybe its about saving the earth- go green. Maybe its about sacrificing ourselves for the country- army strong. Finding the cure. Discovering the next big thing. Cheaper gas. Electing a better president. Finding inner peace. Working hard to get right with the big guy up in the sky. Being a good person. But really, thats still all about them.
Think bigger- the story is about the one who is speaking all of this into being. The sun. The grass that is growing. The blood being pumped in your heart. Its all a word that he is speaking.
Think smaller- the story is about a baby born in a stable to an unmarried mother 2012 years ago.
Think greater- these two are one and the same.
Now marvel-There are back stabbing traitors and rebels in this story, they spat in his face and laughed at the beautiful truth he showed them. They did everything they were not to, and nothing they were made to. They are crawling all over he crust of this world. They try to stuff the bottomless pit in their hearts with a whole lot of nothing. As the creator of the universe spins the planets, he looks down on these people and he loves them. As they mocked him-he died for them. You ask who you are in the story? You are the traitor. You are the back stabbing rebel. You are the enemy of the main character.
Lets skip to the end of the book. Look at the last page. Some of the enemies believe in the beautiful truth that the king showed them, and they are no longer enemies. They fill that bottomless pit in their hearts with his bottomless love. They are not simply the friends. They are the sons, they are the daughters of the king. There is nothing but love and joy, peace, rest, grace, and mercy at the end of the story.
As you reach the end of the page you find that the book hasn’t even opened yet. What a glorious cover. The author of the story never stops speaking the story into being. The story goes on. The story never ends.
I just wanted to say something. But it will keep. So never mind.
Opening night for ‘Midsummer’ was tonight.
It could have been better. It could have been worse. I could have said all my lines correctly. “What wilt thou have to eat………..some music my sweet love?” That was awkward. Or how about “Crap…er…crop their waxen thighs”. That was also awkward. More so than the first. How about my leg going numb as I am walking towards “Bottom.” That just hurt.
I love the cast. I love the director. I love the show. I love the glitter all over my face. I love the lights and music. I love watching the fairy girls. I love watching the play with in the play. I love singing Newsies back stage with Theresa and Riah. I love talking to Mariah about the history of the fairy land. I love eating in costume and getting chewed out for it. I love my “secret” life at the theater. Tech week always feels like that one thing I do that no one who hasn’t been there can ever really understand. So it feels almost like a hidden side of me. I don’t think thats a bad thing. I am not trying to hide it. I mean I talk about it all the time. But what it actually is like-not many know.
Thats all. Now I need to go wash all this hair spray out of my hair and wipe all of this make up off of my face. Can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and go back to the theater-my other home.