So auditions are coming up really really fast for Tale of Two Cities. I don’t feel especially confident but I am trying to stay positive. It’s not that I think I am an awful actress or anything, and its not like I think I will do awful at auditions, but still. It is a scary thing to go up in front of people who you look up to (and maybe some people look up to you) and perform something that came from you ( I mean as much as any thing ever comes from you…which would be never…but you get what I am saying), something that no one (who really know) has every really said ” I think it is good” or ” I think you could add this or that”. Its just you, with your monolog that someone gave you to learn. And your name is called. And there you are, starting at the director. And you start. And then you go home and cry. And they you get the call backs. And then the cast list. And then you can breath. Oh well. I am just praying that God will give me the strength I need.
There are some other things about this audition that scares me.
1. I can not for the life of me do a good french accent. I sound like a drunk Russian trying to do a german accent but thinking a german accent is french.
2. I have not read the book. Try as I might, I can’t finish it. I mean I know the story. I have read half of the book. But still, its crippling.
3. I just played Anne in Anne of Green Gables. Are people going to expect more from me now? Maybe.
4. I really really really really really really want to get in. This is good. But if I don’t get in…
Any way now you feel my pain. Sorry for my jabber. I don’t keep a journal so I need something to jabber into. Hopefully my spelling is not that bad. I am not going back to edit today.