White Detestation

So today I thought I would post about my loathing of squirrels. Why? I just need to vent. Get ready for this. First I would like to start by saying that I generally don’t hate things, here is the list of things I have very strong negative feelings about:

1)   Pop Country music

2)   Jell-O

3)   McDonalds

4)   Ink blots

5)   Human egg donation ( because of a video we saw in Bio-ethics class this week).

6)   Bieber Fever (give me a break!).

7)   Dead things falling out of trees onto my head.

8)   Squirrels

Most of all the kind of squirrels that live in our neighborhood.

Their scientific name is albino squirrels, but I prefer the term…white detestation.

You can’t even say that after seeing this you don’t hate them too. This is what all of them look like. Did I mention they are everywhere!!!!

Top ten reasons I hate albino squirrels:

1)   They are ugly.

2)   They have evil red eyes.

3)   They eat our bird food.

4)   They are everywhere.

5)   They sit on top of my pigeon coop like evil little…things.

6)   They look gross as road kill (plus they are only worth one point if you are playing the road kill game on a road trip).

7)   They fall out of trees on to people’s head, which is freaky.

8)   They are evil.

9)   They are more intelligent than anyone thinks.

10)  They are planning of taking over the world using stored up bird food as ammo for their walnut guns. Not only that but they choose my coop to use as a look out. THEY WILL DISTROY US ALL!!!

Ok, really they are not that bad…but really…they are.



2 thoughts on “White Detestation

  1. I also HATE squirrels. And I also do not hate many things. And albinos are the worst of them. We have long joked about trapping all the albino squirrels in our neighborhood and spraypainting them some exciting color. Sounds like you have a lot of them hanging out on the pigeon coop, so go for it!

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